Camlann: Season 1, Episode 8
"Prodigal Son"
Transcript created: 21st April 2024
Last updated: 22nd April 2024
SHOW NOTES
Content Warnings can be found at the end of the show notes.
Everybody finds each other.
Follow us on social media @camlannpod to stay updated. Share your thoughts with us using #Camlann. If you’d like to support the future of the show, you can do so on Ko-Fi and Patreon.
If you’d like to listen along live to episodes as they come out with Ella and Amber, you can do that on Tin Can Audio’s Twitch channel from 8-10pm GMT on Mondays. On Wednesdays at the same time, Amber will be going through the process of composing the score, and on our ‘off weeks’ on Mondays, Amber will go through the sound design for the show. Camlann is made possible with funding from Creative Scotland and the Inevitable Foundation.
The English folk song featured in this episode is The Gower Wassail, a song traditionally sung with friends and neighbours at Christmas in orchards and the countryside. The tradition has begun to be picked up in orchards in Scotland.
This episode featured: Tobias Weatherburn as Dai, Angharad Phillips as Morgan, Robyn Holdaway as Perry, Nicole Miners as Gwen (or Shújūn), Paul Warren as Gwaine, and Felix Trench as Kay. Additional voices were provided by the cast. Special thanks to Hobbes the Lion for playing Gelert.
This episode was written and directed by Ella Watts, with original scoring and sound design from Amber Devereux at Tin Can Audio, and additional Music Direction from Alessa Catterall. Our Production Manager is Ross McFarlane.
Special thanks to: Angharad Gilbey, Holly Thwaites Bee, Samuel Thompson, Sara-Luise Edge-Smith, Elizabeth Campbell, Marc Sollinger, Sarah Shachat, David K. Barnes, Rosenkranz Vermilion and Max Degan. We wouldn’t have got here without you.
Diolch yn fawr iawn am wrando. Thank you so much for listening.
Keep the fires burning.
Content Warnings: Discussion of Bereavement, Strong Language, Mention of Child Abuse, Fantasy Violence, Major Character Death (22:09-23:10)
SCENE 1
[Birds sing quietly in the morning. Dai rubs his hands together, occasionally poking at the bonfire which crackles and spits.]]
GWAINE: (far off, singing The Gower Wassail)
Our cup it is white and our ale it is brown
Our wassail is made of the good ale and cake
Some nutmeg and ginger, the best we could bake
Fol dedol dol dedol Dol dedol dol de dol
Fol de de ro Fol de da ri
Sing too ra li o
DAI: Gwaine?
[Soft piano notes accent Gwaine's singing.]
GWAINE: (walking closer through the snow)
Our wassail is made of the elderberry bough
And so my good neighbors we'll drink unto thou
Besides all on earth, you have apples in store
Pray let us come in for it's cold by the door
DAI: (running down the track) Gwaine!
GWAINE: (laughing)
Fol dedol dol dedol Dol dedol dol de dol
Fol de de ro Fol de da ri
Sing too ra li o
DAI: You’re - you’re alive
[Gwaine grabs Dai in a hug - a huge hug, picking him up and spinning him round, both of them laughing.]
GWAINE: (into the soft of Dai's jumper) Merry Christmas Dai
[The Camlann theme plays.]
DAI: Sometimes-
[The Camlann theme pauses.]
DAI: -things work out.
[The Camlann theme resumes.]
DAI: Camlann. Episode Eight, Prodigal Son.
SCENE 2
[The whole group and Gelert are in the kitchen. Gwaine is fussing over Gel who barks and pants happily.]
GWAINE: Hey Gel! Who’s a good boy? You’re a good boy, aren’t you a good boy? Yes you are! I missed you! Yes I did! I missed you!!
PERRY: So, wait, how do you know it’s Christmas?
GWEN: And where did you get all of this food from?
GWAINE: I’ve been keeping a calendar. Arthur made us do it, and I figured it was a habit that wasn’t worth breaking.
PERRY: And the food?
GWAINE: You know what it’s like out there. Most places are pretty much untouched. If there are any survivors, they weren’t in the cities.
[Thoughtful pause.]
GWAINE: Which means that I got to raid the bougiest independent cider breweries between here and the West Country. Voila.
GWAINE gets out a huge earthenware jug of cider.
DAI: I love you.
GWAINE: Yeah, I’m pretty great.
MORGAN: Sorry, I just remembered I need to be literally anywhere else.
[Morgan gets up - wooden chair legs on stone, and storms out, slamming the door behind her. Gelert whines.]
[Perry opens the door and lets him follow her.]
PERRY: Go on Gel
[Perry gently shuts the door behind Gel.]
PERRY: Gwaine, come help me with the firewood?
DAI: Oh, the bonfire doesn’t need-
PERRY: We’re not going to survive this snow if we don’t keep the woodburner going. Besides, it’s a good way to keep in shape.
GWEN: Is it physically possible for you to be out of shape?
PERRY: I’d prefer not to find out. Gwaine.
[Perry opens the door.]
DAI: Go on, I’ll be fine.
GWAINE: Yeah, alright. Happy to help.
[Gwaine follows, and shuts the door behind him.]
SCENE 3
Gwaine and Perry walk silently down the track, scrunching through fresh snow.]
[Perry picks up an axe and sets up a log on the chopping block.]
[They take a hefty swing, slicing the log in half with a grunt.]
GWAINE: Chopping wood isn’t really a two-person job
PERRY: I want to be very clear.
[Grunt, chop, crack.]
PERRY: I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt.
[Grunt, chop, crack.]
GWAINE: Ok?
[Grunt, chop, crack.]
PERRY: I’m not doing it for you.
[Grunt, chop, crack.]
PERRY: Dai is my best friend.
GWAINE: I know.
[Grunt, chop, crack.]
PERRY: If you hurt him - if you betray us, betray him again -
[Perry lifts the axe above their head.]
PERRY: It’s not Arthur you’ll have to worry about.
[Grunt, chop, crack.]
PERRY: Understood, Sir Gwaine?
GWAINE: Got it, Peredur.
[Perry picks up the axe and shoves it at Gwaine.]
PERRY: Great. Finish up here. You’re good with an axe, right?
[Perry walks away through the snow.]
GWAINE: (under his breath) Prick.
SCENE 4
[Slow drip of the leak. Morgan furiously hammering something. Gelert whining anxiously. The creaky, rusting door is lifted, and Morgan pauses.]
GWEN: I brought tea.
MORGAN: Gwen, now isn’t
GWEN: Don’t do that
MORGAN: Do what?
GWEN: Push me away.
[Gwen walks closer.]
GWEN: I’m on your side, you know?
[Gwen crouches to pet Gel. Gel pants happily.]
GWEN: Hey Gel.
MORGAN: What do you mean?
GWEN: You and Dai haven’t spoken to each other for 24 hours. Which is a new record, I think.
MORGAN: You don’t even know what we’re fighting about.
GWEN: No, but Dai is Dai and you’re you, so I think I’m picking the right horse in this race.
MORGAN: How can you have so much faith in me?
GWEN: It’s not about faith. You just remind me of myself.
MORGAN: We are nothing alike.
GWEN: Why? Because of your Name?
MORGAN: No, I mean you’re...you, you’re so calm and patient and kind and thoughtful. It’s like nothing ever gets under your skin. You’re perfect.
GWEN: I’m not perfect, I’m palatable.
[Deep, thoughtful music plays softly as Gwen speaks.]
Do you know how scary it is to be by yourself in the apocalypse, and then meet a group of strangers and know that you have to do everything you can to ingratiate yourself with them? Because if you don’t, then you lose the roof over your head and the strong walls and the clean water and the hot food and the terrible, excellent instant coffee.
Do you know how badly I want to be like you? I don’t want to be a princess babysitting everyone around me so they don’t feel threatened. I want to be difficult and powerful and angry. I am so angry, Morgan. I have lost so much. But if all of us kill each other then we’ve lost the war before it’s even begun. So I do what I’m good at. I make people feel better about themselves.
MORGAN: Gwen -
[Perry barges through the door.]
PERRY: Sorry to interrupt - Gwaine’s making a feast for Christmas Eve.
MORGAN: And we’re humouring his blatant pandering because?
PERRY: Dai wants to. Meet us at the bonfire around sunset?
GWEN: (soft) You don’t have to.
MORGAN: (soft) Yes, I do.
MORGAN: (to Perry) Ok. Sunset.
[Perry leaves. Gwen and Morgan sit in the silence for several moments.]
GWEN: You know the strangest part?
MORGAN: What?
[The music lightens.]
GWEN: I trust you. I feel like I can be ugly and difficult and complicated with you.
MORGAN: You can. Of course you can.
GWEN: Then tell me, why do you put up with Dai? Because you’re not like me and you don’t bend over backwards for anyone else but him. What does he have over you?
MORGAN: Nothing. It’s not like that. It’s nothing bad. It’s hard to explain. We’ve just always been kind of a matched set, ever since we were little.
GWEN: Is that a good thing?
MORGAN: Dai and I have known each other since we were kids. We grew up together in Aberystwyth. It’s a weird place to grow up.
My parents weren’t the best people. Violent. Unpredictable. Cruel. Most of my childhood was about trying to survive. Going from save point to save point, you know? It wasn’t really about having fun. I just had to stay alive.
But there was this kid down the road. He was always so completely unpredictable. Chaotic and ridiculous and fun in a way that no one else was. When I was with Dai, I felt like I was allowed to be silly. Childish. Like I was the kind of person who might be able to have fun.
He’s my brother. He’s infuriating and reckless and selfish and terrible at communicating when it really matters, but he’s also the only family I have left.
[Music fades.]
SCENE 5
[The group and Gel are sitting around the bonfire at sunset. There’s snow, and birds, the trees and the stream roars behind them. The fire snaps, crackles and pops.]
ALL: (singing - raucous, drunk)
And where you have one barrel we hope you’ll have ten
So that we may have cider when call again
Fol dedol dol dedol Dol dedol dol de dol
Fol de de ro Fol de da ri
Sing too ra li o
[They end with a shout, raising and toasting their mugs, laughing and celebrating.]
DAI: (tipsy, happy) Oh man, this is... This is it. Life is kind of ok. The moon is bright, the stars are beautiful, the fire is warm and my belly is full. I think those medieval monks were onto something.
[The tabs on cider cans crack open.]
PERRY: (warm) No one asked you for a speech, Dai
DAI: And yet I’m giving you one anyway!
Dai gets clumsily to his feet – clearing his throat theatrically.]
DAI: (tipsy, loud) Everything is shit. The world ended. I lost almost every person I’ve ever cared about in horrible, violent ways.
I lost Netflix, and video games, and podcasts and Spotify and Dominos. I can’t binge on TikTok because it’s not a thing, so I guess any boomers left alive are feeling good about that one.
[Collective smirks.]
DAI: But! You know what I didn’t lose? I didn’t lose my self. It turns out I am a lot tougher than I thought I was. I always figured I’d be in the corpse heap, you know, in the inevitable zombie apocalypse. Have we seen any zombies yet? No, well, the point is... (suddenly thoughtful) hey maybe actually the dogs count?
PERRY: Dai?
DAI: Ok, ok, the point is. (serious) I’m stronger than I thought I was. I’m not dead and I’m not a shell. I’m not broken. We’re not broken. We’re alive. I can feel my heart beating and the blood in my cheeks and I’m warm and my mouth tastes like cider and I’m alive, and you’re alive, and we’re alive and the night sky looks like magic and everything is kind of ok and you know what? That’s amazing. We did it.
The monsters tried to take everything we had, tried to take us away from ourselves. Make us something we weren’t, something we didn’t want to be. They wanted to make us cruel and scared and angry. And I am angry. And I’m scared. But I won’t be cruel.
[Dai stumbles his way through the snow around the fire to Gwen.]
DAI: Gwen - you’re, you’re a doctor!
GWEN: (similarly tipsy) Ah! Er...
DAI: Or, ok, you’re a medical student. But still! If we’d turned you away then Perry... then we wouldn’t be... it’s good that you’re here!
And Gwaine. You came back. You beautiful bastard. You came back and I never thought you would.
And Per, you’re the toughest nerd I’ve ever met and that’s saying something because my best friend is Morgan Jones and she once spent a whole three hours telling me about geometry.
MORGAN: Yup!
DAI: You’re my friends. And the world is over. But we’re alive. As long as that’s true - as long as we remember and we’re telling stories and we’re singing and we’re looking at the stars...We’re gonna be ok. I think we’re gonna be ok.
Because that’s what people are, right? In the end. That’s what people have always been. Telling stories and singing and dreaming of the stars. We haven’t lost that. We can’t lose that. Because all we need is breath in our lungs and hope in our hearts and as long we’re alive we’ve got that. Not matter what they do, no matter what they take. We’ve got that.
GWAINE: Cheers.
MORGAN: Cheers
[Agreements and cheers surround the fire as cans and bottles clink together.]
[Dai takes a triumphant gulp and stumbles almost to the ground, caught round the waist by Gwaine.]
GWAINE: Now sit down before you fall down
[Everyone is quiet for a moment, thinking.]
GWEN: I don’t actually know what happened to my Dad.
He was in Hong Kong, when the Cataclysm happened. Communications went down so fast. I remember for the first few days just spending hours trying to get through to him. Constantly hitting redial on that stupid emergency communications line.
DAI: I was trying to call my Mum, back in Aber. Couldn’t get through either. But her name showed up on the lists of the dead. Day three.
MORGAN: I saw my brother die. Right in front of me.
GWAINE: Me too.
PERRY: My family were in Portsmouth. They didn’t show up on the lists, and I couldn’t get a call through. But they were right in the heart of the new forest, so...
[For a moment, silence stretches, filled with the sound of the fire.]
GWEN: To them. To everyone we lost, and the hope we hold in the unknown. 爱你的爸爸。(Ài ni de bàba)
DAI: Caru ti, Mam
MORGAN: Caru ti, Ben
GWAINE: To Gareth
PERRY: To my family
[They toast - clinking of miscellaneous cups, slop of alcohol.]
[Dai gets up.]
DAI: This party needs more alcohol.
Dai nearly falls over, Gwaine catches him again bringing him down onto his lap.]
GWAINE: Woah there cowboy!
DAI: Gwaine? I’m so glad you came back.
GWAINE: Yeah, I know.
[Gwaine hoists Dai to his feet.]
GWAINE: Come on, let’s get you to bed.
[They walk away.]
MORGAN: I’m calling it a night too. Might even get some sleep.
PERRY: Hope springs eternal.
GWEN: What is it this time?
MORGAN: Knights, mostly. Men on horseback.
PERRY: That’s worrying.
MORGAN: It could just be bad dreams.
PERRY: It could be.
[Morgan gets to her feet, walks round the fire. She stops, turns back.]
MORGAN: Night, Gwen.
GWEN: Night, Morgan.
[Morgan walks away. Perry gets up too.]
PERRY: I’m going to double check the perimeter. Just in case.
GWEN: Are you sure that’s a good idea? You’ve been drinking too.
PERRY: Apple juice.
[Sloshing the remaining liquid around their mug.]
PERRY: I’m still not entirely convinced the prodigal son’s miraculous return isn’t some kind of trap.
GWEN: You think he’s working for Arthur?
PERRY: It wouldn’t be the first time. You’re welcome to join me, if you like?
GWEN: No, thanks. I want to stay here for a bit longer. Look at the stars.
PERRY: Alright. Night, Guinevere.
GWEN: Good night, Peredur.
[Gwen sits next to the fire. It crackles and spits. She hums the Gower Wassail to herself.]
SCENE 6
[Morgan, Perry, Gwaine and Gelert are all in the kitchen. There’s tense silence between them as they variously eat breakfast and the kettle boils. Footsteps on the creaking wooden stairs are noticeable in the silence.]
DAI: I think something died in my mouth
GWAINE: It lives! Morning handsome. How’s the head?
[Perry hands Dai a cup of tea]
PERRY: Tea’s ready. (soft) Here.
DAI: Thanks Per.
[Dai sits down. Wooden chair legs on stone.]
DAI: Gwaine, I think I’m going to die
GWAINE: Oh? Let me have a look at you.
[Gwaine gets closer to Dai, putting a hand on his forehead.]
GWAINE: Well, I’m not a doctor, but I think the prognosis is good. You’re going to live.
DAI: Do I have to?
[Gwen starts running towards the house, shouting.]
GWEN: (muffled, far off) KNIGHTS! KNIGHTS COMING DOWN THE TRACK!
[Morgan gets to her feet]
MORGAN: Is that Gwen?
[Perry opens the door.]
GWEN: (out of breath) Knights, the Knights are here.
PERRY: (turning to Gwaine) I fucking knew it!
DAI: Woah, Perry, calm down.
GWAINE: This isn’t my fault!
[Perry picks up Rhongomyniant. Audio distorts as Perry roars.]
PERRY: Stop fucking lying to me.
GWAINE: What are you going to do with that thing in here? Make a pull up bar?
MORGAN: Both of you, calm down! We have bigger problems. Gwen, how long do we have?
GWEN: Minutes, if that? They were galloping through the snow, kicking it up like water.
PERRY: Ok - Dai, Morgan, Gwen. Get upstairs and hide now. Gwaine, you’re with me.
GWAINE: Am I now? And what exactly are we doing?
PERRY: Creating a distraction. Unless you want to just stand there looking pretty.
[Gwaine draws his sword. Audio distorts.]
GWAINE: And let you have all the fun? As if.
GWEN: (from the door to the stairs) Dai, come on!
DAI: This is all my fault
GWAINE: What?
DAI: If I hadn’t lit that stupid fire then they wouldn’t have known where to find us. And now they have and they’re going to take us back and I can’t, I can’t, I can’t -
[Dai is starting to spiral. Perry rushes across the room and grabs his shoulders, firmly.]
PERRY: Dai Thomas, look at me. You are not going to do Arthur’s work for him. You are not going to panic, and you are not going to give up. Do you trust me?
DAI: I -
PERRY: Dai, do you trust me?
DAI: Yes
PERRY: Then trust me to protect you now. No one’s going anywhere.
[The Knights approaching - a large group of men in armour on horseback riding through the snow, accompanied by a pack of baying hounds. Gelert starts barking furiously.]
GWAINE: They’re here.
DAI: Please don’t die again.
GWAINE: I won’t.
SCENE 7
[Morgan, Gwen and Dai crouch by the upstairs window. Distantly, on the ground, through the glass, we can hear the Knights arriving, the hounds, and Perry and Gwaine yelling at them.]
GWAINE: (shouting, muffled) Looking tired Arthur. Riding across the country too much like hard work?
PERRY: (shouting, muffled) You’re not welcome here. Leave. We don’t want a fight. Right now.
DAI: What’s happening?
MORGAN: I don’t know, I can’t hear anything.
GWEN: Are they actually going to use those swords?
MORGAN: Yes.
GWEN: Exactly how dangerous are these people?
DAI: Dangerous enough. What are Gwaine and Perry doing?
MORGAN: Talking. Arthur’s at the front, on a white horse like an asshole. They’ve got banners now. Blue and red with - are those supposed to be crowns? They look like a bunch of LARPers
DAI: I mean that’s what they are, basically
GWEN: What’s a LARPer?
DAI: Nerds who dress up and pretend to be elves and shit in the woods. It’s actually pretty fun, it’s just-
MORGAN: (interupting) Wait, I think something’s happening
DAI: Morgan, where’s Carnwennan?
MORGAN: What?
DAI: (panicking) The dagger, Morgan, where’s the dagger?
MORGAN: I left it downstairs - Dai, they’re coming down the path. Gwaine and Perry are shouting something, fuck, I think they’ve seen us
DAI: No, it’s supposed to hide you, that’s why I let you-
The window shatters as Morgan is shot with a crossbow bolt. She falls backwards with a thump and a bitten-off scream of pain.]
GWEN: MORGAN!
[A slow hum starts to build.]
[The knights cheer and celebrate through the window.]
GWEN: Oh god, ok, alright, ok. Morgan, can you hear me? Morgan?
DAI: (DAZED) There’s so much blood.
[Gwaine and Perry are running back to the cottage. Swords clash as the fend off the knights on their retreat. Knights call and rush the cottage. As the pair get back, the door slams shut.]
[The hum gets louder.]
GWEN: She’s not breathing. Dai. Dai, I need you to help me. Put pressure on the wound. We need to try and stop the bleeding.
DAI: She’s not - why isn’t she breathing?
GWEN: DAI! Focus! Just, put your hands here and press down, ok? We haven’t lost her yet.
[A window smashes. The Knights are battering against the outside door. Gel barks loudly from downstairs.]
[The hum gets louder.]
[Another crossbow bolt shatters more of the glass.]
GWEN: Holy shit
[The hum gets louder.]
DAI: What do we do? What do we do?
GWEN: Just stay calm
[The hum gets louder.]
GWEN: Oh, god, her heart’s stopped beating.
[The hum gets MUCH louder.]
GWEN: Dai? What’s going on? Dai?
DAI: Morgan? Morgan, wake up. Wake up. Morgan
[The outside door gives way.]
GWEN: Dai, you’re - I need you to calm down
[Heavy boots come rushing up the staircase.]
[Gwaine and Perry burst through the door with Gel. Perry slams the door shut – grunting as they push their body against it.]
PERRY: They’re coming. (BEAT) Morgan! What the hell happened? Dai? What - he’s - why’s he glowing?
[Perry and Gel run to Morgan – Gel starts to whine and whimper.]
KAY: (muffled through the door) IN THE NAME OF KING ARTHUR, OPEN THIS DOOR
GWAINE: Fuck OFF Kay!
GWEN: Ok, we need to resuscitate her now. Dai -
[The hum gets louder.]
[The knights start pounding on the door. Gwen starts doing chest compressions.]
GWAINE: (holding the door) A LITTLE HELP HERE PEREDUR!
GWEN: She’s not responding
[The door starts to splinter under the Knights’ assault.]
[The hum gets louder.]
[The sound of the Knights' assault. Gwen's distress. Perry and Gwaine's attempts to keep the door shut. Everything fades into silence around Dai.]
DAI: No
[A match strikes. Like an erupting flame, intense magic emanates from Dai like a sphere in all directions.]
[The magic crackles... and fades.]
CREDITS
Hi, it’s Ella! We are just one episode away from our season finale! In a fortnight’s time, we’ll be releasing episode 9, the final episode of the first season of Camlann. I say first season because Ross, Amber and I would all love to make more, as would our incredible cast. We can’t do that without funding - so I know I say this every episode, but truly, if you have the cash to spare and don’t mind helping us out, please do consider signing up to our Patreon, giving us a donation on Ko-Fi, or subscribing to the Tin Can Audio Twitch channel.
If you don’t have the cash, that’s ok! When it comes to applying for more funding, things like public reviews, ratings and listener numbers mean a lot. So please take the time to leave us a rating and review, and maybe tell a friend about the show. Thank you so much, diolch yn fawr. Ok!
If you’d like to follow us on social media, you can do that wherever the internet is found @camlannpod. If you’d like to give us a tip, we’d be very grateful for your support.
If you’d like to join Amber, Ella and occasionally other members of the cast and crew for a live listen along of each episode of Camlann as it releases, you can do that on Mondays from eight til ten pm GMT. On Wednesdays at the same time, Amber will be taking you through the process of composing the music for the show, and on our off-weeks, Amber will be doing a behind the scenes stream on Mondays where they break apart the project file for each episode and explain how they did the sound design.
These streams are always a fun and cozy time, and if you have any questions about the show for Amber and I, it’s a good opportunity to ask them.
Finally, I’d like to give you a podcast recommendation! Specifically, two podcast recommendations. First, I’d like to recommend The Lightning Bottler, from the beautiful mind of our very own Oli Morris, guest sound designer for episode 7. The Lightning Bottler is a series of beautiful stand alone dramas, including a story about gay vampires starring Beth Eyre and Méabh de Brún….You should also absolutely check out Oli’s noir, urban fantasy paranormal detective series Kane and Feels, it’s why I asked them to work on Camlann in the first place!
Second, I’d like to recommend Travelling Light. This podcast reminds me a lot of Becky Chambers’ Monk and Robot novels, or Shepherd Book in Firefly. It’s a story about an alien monk who takes a pilgrimage to see the universe, and writes back regularly to their monastery with tales of their adventures. It is so gentle and full of love and it’s from Monstrous Productions, the fantastic folk behind the podcast Monstrous Agonies. Check it out.
Thank you so much again for your support, and remember - keep the fires burning. Diolch am wrando.
Paddleboat, The Midnight Pals
